She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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