Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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