He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize