All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize