i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
