I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
