it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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