The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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