I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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