that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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