he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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