I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
