just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hippo gnu deer
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
