So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
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im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
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Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.