i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.