If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.