I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize