I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.