I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.