well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
