first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
