your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
