You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
