I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
