yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
