True but thats because hes a fetus.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
