I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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