She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize