he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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