i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
