"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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