did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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