Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
