Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
