Its about making memories worth repressing
we made out on top of his cat.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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