i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So vagazzling was a success
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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