yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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