I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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