I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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