I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
