i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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