dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
