i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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