i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
