Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
