Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize