did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
