I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
