trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dicks are not precious.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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