OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
