i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
