hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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