people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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