ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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