Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
