I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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