I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
