if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
