I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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