There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize