Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
