you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.