Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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