Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is the high leading the old right now
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.