What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
