so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
