Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
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I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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