Duck Duck Cougar?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
