I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
