nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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