There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
