its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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