I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I lost the right to judge tonight
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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