she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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