even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
