Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.

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  (917): I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer. http://tfl.nu/px5x
  Replies (1) Good night (842) Bad night (1067)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.

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  (914): Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people. http://tfl.nu/31i5
  Replies (17) Good night (771) Bad night (2079)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There is no way he is gay with that hair.

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  (617): There is no way he is gay with that hair. http://tfl.nu/3fbq
  Replies (7) Good night (3046) Bad night (796)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober

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  (403): i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober http://tfl.nu/y1xh
  Replies (28) Good night (1227) Bad night (3988)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.

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  (802): He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed. http://tfl.nu/y5o9
  Replies (22) Good night (6187) Bad night (1133)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?

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  (405): She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip? http://tfl.nu/6lx8
  Replies (17) Good night (3889) Bad night (2091)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light

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  (862): That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light http://tfl.nu/4kbw
  Replies (6) Good night (921) Bad night (2727)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  So basically you were a dog.

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  (860): This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground. (802): So basically you were a dog. http://tfl.nu/0n1s
  Replies (14) Good night (8470) Bad night (1137)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

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  (260): Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given. http://tfl.nu/4cnf
  Replies (9) Good night (2010) Bad night (595)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on

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  (315): I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on http://tfl.nu/7hrd
  Replies (3) Good night (714) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!

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  (281): She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave! http://tfl.nu/tzuo
  Replies (12) Good night (1067) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.

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  (623): He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix. http://tfl.nu/za16
  Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (502)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious

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  (325): My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious http://tfl.nu/543t
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (456)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday

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  (318): I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday http://tfl.nu/jc5x
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going

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  (847): well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going http://tfl.nu/vq9c
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (715)

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