so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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