I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
