Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
