Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
