i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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