So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
sex in a hospital.. check
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
